You may be thinking that CNC sounds like some kind of new STD or cosplay character. Not really. Then what is CNC play in BDSM?
Consensual Non Consent (CNC) is the moron of all oxymorons. This ties into BDSM play, a rape kink, if you will. CNC puts a magnified power on the dominant role. Who hasn’t dreamed of having their own sex slave?
I find satisfaction in playing both roles in BDSM, so let’s go deep into the secretly fantasized play of CNC.
**Consensual non consent is not related or associated with the desire to sexually assault someone or to actually violate their consent. This article discusses aspects of consensual non consent fantasy and play and contains references to racial and sexual violence.
“I may say no, no, no, but… do it again…”– Marilyn Monroe
What is CNC Play?
Resistance to CNC can be shown physically, such as by attempting to flee or by struggling, emotionally, such as by displaying signs of unwanted pain or distress, or vocally, such as by saying “no” or “stop.” It is important to discuss the action that should be done when a certain queue is given. .
CNC kink play has many types of acts, and being forced to submit sexually is the very tip of the iceberg. I look at it as an extreme form of erotic trust and pleasure. This can include taking advantage of your slave while they are sleeping. Kidnapping – this is a very planned-out adventure and could last a few hours or even days at a time. Making your slave obey your every word.
The art of the activities involved in CNC play is tantalizing, brutal, and orgasmic, while crucial to master. These activities may also include abuse, neglect, being mocked, or humiliation. Keep in mind that these are way more than just physical stimulation.
Why Do People Enjoy CNC Kink?
A fantasy – not a reality
Psychology research has been deeply conducted around this fantasy, but this area of sexual behavior is also evolving as it grows. When I first started getting aroused by the thought of CNC, I truly believed it had something to do with my messed up traumatic childhood. I was sexually assaulted at a young age, but, I did not consent. Researching this rape fantasy, all of the information I could find stayed consistent with the fact that CNC is not correlated to sexual trauma or childhood.
Done with consent, awareness, agreement, and discussion, inserting CNC play into BDSM play can be a healthy and fulfilling scene of sexuality for some people, allowing them to expand their sexual boundaries and satisfy a wild fantasy.
How to Enjoy CNC Safely
I desire to rebel, disobey, and refuse consent in the hopes of being punished. I find it enticing to be overpowered, ravished, dominated, broken, and groomed. BDSM, in itself, is a desire for an intense sensation of dominance or submission. For CNC, this is a scenario-specific act, meaning you should use separate “safety signals” from your usual submissive signals.
I am here to reassure you that it’s okay to explore these fantasies on your own, out of curiosity. These fantasies can be a healthy way for you to discover more about who you are, trust your master, gain understanding, and make arousing discoveries. A source of self-pleasure can also be found in them. However, there might be instances where putting them into practical use would compromise stability and safety, outweighing any potential benefits from the actualization experience.
This is an act that I find more enjoyable to perform than to receive. It may be the Virgo in me that doesn’t trust someone else to do it right. I think I might relate to a male perspective on this thought. It just feels so good, you don’t want it to end.If you are trying to deny or prolong an orgasm for yourself or your sub, mix up the tempo, initiate a new position, pause to perform oral, and when none of that works, yes, think about anything to bring your endurance into check.
It’s no surprise that sex toys are commonly used in rape CNC play. Vibrators are an amazing addition to clit and/or G-spot stimulation. Using a thrusting dildo machine that the dom controls, is an amazing way to indulge in edge play. For sub/dom’s who have a CNC kink that involves double penetration, using a sex toy or machine simultaneously with consensual non consent from your dom… MIND-BLOWING!
This refers to performing sexual favors on your partner while they are sleeping. Talk about being woken up with a finger inside of me. Ugh, please! The same rules apply to me as they do to my switch. I love caressing their body while they are comatose, not being guided or stopped. I never intend to wake them up. If they do start thrusting against me with even the slightest moan, I stop.
During Zoom meetings or when they are concentrating on their hobbies (especially video games), they caress their bodies, walk around naked, perform oral. Take advantage of the fact that they can’t, and especially don’t want to, stop you.
Do’s and Don’ts of CNC Play
Consensual non consent scenes are a great start in foreplay. The wild fantasy of being captured and forced to submit, played along with someone’s fantasy to capture and force one to submit… is the baseline of bringing this rape kink into action.
DO NOT even dare try to act on any CNC without going through every single possible situation. Contracts are a safe way to establish specific rules to refer to. There is a very fine line between fighting for your life to save your virginity (role play) and actually screaming to stop because it is going too far. And when you have reached “going too far,” you can damage the mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being of both you and your partner.
I have been tied down to a chair while I am forced to watch my dom please another girl. This drove me absolutely wild. I wanted both of them so badly. Come to find out, a few days later, I struggled horribly to accept that it happened.
It is so vital to have constant check-ins. My heart starts racing when those moments pop into my mind. My body is absolutely destroyed. I am defeated. Once my dom looks me in the eyes to focus on reading my body. I am able to look at them and they can tell if I am ready for more. For someone who begs for torture, it is very rare that I tap out.
While consensual non consent is commonly misunderstood outside of the BDSM community, we support all kinks and fantasy play. There are separate rules, guidelines, aftercare, and safe words that are required to go over before acting on a rape fantasy. As the sub is being punished during CNC, the punishment should equal arousal, pleasure, and satisfaction. Play safe!