Are you wondering what is a switch BDSM? Welcome to a safe place where your fantasies are made and opinions don’t matter.
BDSM is a fetish that is growing far and wide within the world today. Exploring your sexuality is no longer taboo, rather a massive community of welcoming lovers. We all like to experiment, find pleasure through pain, and are sexually satisfied by satisfying our partner(s) sexually.
The BDSM lifestyle is not an overnight transition. There are some people who just arrive into the world ready to dominate, or, they come out crying, scared, and become a naturally shy submissive partner. So, if you are still unsure about the role of a switch BDSM session, this article is going to make up your mind.
Do you get turned on by:
These are the basic traits of a submissive partner.
Do you get turned on by:
These are the basic traits of a dominant partner.
If you find yourself fantasizing about engaging in both roles, you get the golden label of being a “switch”. Are you ready to take the deep plunge into the life of a switch? The dominant side of me says “you don’t have a choice, sit down, and don’t speak”.
I was introduced to the term “switch” early in my bisexual journey. Noticing I was attracted to both feminine women like me, but also attracted to what we call “butch” lesbians. So, the happy medium between the both, for me, was the tomboy lesbian. The hotty that can strut in heels and a bodycon dress but can also throw on some slacks and a dressy button-down shirt with a tie and look like she runs the world. You can put the idea that a “switch” is like the tomboy lesbian mentality, with a shit ton of kinky spice on top.
With sexuality being a very important part of our lives, switching can be difficult if you don’t know where to start. You have to think of it kind of like someone who is amazing at roller-blading. If they are thrown into the skate park with a skateboard, they will lose all of their dignity, right? You can watch someone skateboard all day, but you have to actually mount and control it to learn how to ride it. In the BDSM community, you can relate the two main terms, dominant and submissive, to skateboarding and roller-blading. You can’t be dominant and submissive at the same exact time, just like you can’t (or shouldn’t) wear roller-blades while on a skateboard.
Still using this analogy, you also have skiing, snowboarding, motorcross, X games etc. I would relate Shaun White or Tony Hawk to a switch. They participate in multiple sports they are good at and enjoy!
It’s almost a quarter way through the century, are people still engaging in vanilla, missionary style sex? Yes, sadly there is, but hey, if they are happy and satisfied, let’s just leave them be and we enjoy this kink talk. I could blow you all away with how many relationships involve 2 people with total opposite sexual turn ons. Some go years and even eternity not fulfilling their wildest sexual fantasies. The same even goes for BDSM couples. A majority of dom/sub relationships don’t switch roles, this could be because the role in BDSM ties in with the personality of that person.
BDSM partners will both have to agree on role reversal along with redetermine boundaries. If submissive, may get off from being whipped and spit on, while your partner may find satisfaction with a less degrading act, like anal play. These boundaries, when a role switch is in play, should be respected exactly as they are in any BDSM play.
I have found myself leaving relationships with ease because I was sexually unsatisfied. With a lot of trial and error, I find it easy to determine a persons sexual performance just by having a conversation and some cocktails. The very first time the switch lifestyle became music to my ears, I was doing my “tried and true” personality scan over a couple of cocktails and was ready to be bound and gagged until the morning. Their presence was borderline intimidating. They controlled the conversation, made the next move, and had their arm around me (a dominant trait of “claiming” their prize piece).
You can see where I am going, as soon as the doors were closed, I found myself in charge real quick. Their satisfaction was controlled on my order. No lie, a top 5 experience for me. When the morning came, I was pulled away from making breakfast in the kitchen. Told to get my ass in the shower and do as I was told. WHOA! You don’t have to tell me twice.
I know what you are probably thinking… Well, the cocktails probably made their submissive side come out and when sober they are dominant. Yea, that is EXACTLY what I thought. I just had to know the answer, and a week of sleepovers later, I no longer claimed myself as one or the other. I played the parts of a switch BDSM.
One thing I love most about the switch lifestyle is that I am able to enjoy both ends of the whip. When both partners are comfortably adapted for role reversal, sexual activites will flow smooth like softened butter. BDSM is a kinky fetish that, I personally think, requires 100% trust and respectful boudaries. Being a switch amplifies that trust with your partner even more. Can you imagine the level of spice this adds? Taking an alternate view of your main role can actually improve your dom or sub style for when the roles get switched next time.
Having the golden label as a switch, I use it to my advantage. I enjoy volunteering my time to help couples and individuals like yourself, explore the switch role safely. With this experience I have found that, in couples:
We know that when something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. Thankfully, the switch in BDSM does have a couple downsides, allowing it to be too good. Someone who is naturally playing the submissive role gets weak in the knees in a dominant’s presence. The submissive mind gets turned on by that masculine “bad boy” attitude.
Masculinity is a trait valued as fragile, testing the boundaries towards femininity is a dangerous trait to test. The same with a partner who naturally has a submissive role. Having them take control, being assertive, and seeing their partner in a vulnerable state, can be the opposite of kinky. This can lead to a trigger, detachment, even distrust.
So, when you switch roles, it is possible that you and your partner get pleasure out of a completely different scene. It is possible that a switch means not bringing out a blindfold, handcuffs, and toys, but focusing more on the kinky play of dominance and submission, like being on top or bottom.
Alright, now we are ready to get to the good stuff. Having BDSM experience with your partner means you have already communicated both of your boundaries and pleasures when performing one role. You need to readdress these rules when introducing a switch in roles. You may like to be tied up and blindfolded while your partner gets pleasure out of tying you up and blindfolding you.
It can help to have a conversation with your partner about trying a BDSM role switch. Try prompting a statement like: “It would really turn me on if you were in control tonight,” to initiate a role switch.
We all know that foreplay doesn’t start 15 minutes before intercourse. Waking up to a nice massage or quickie in the shower, not wearing panties at work, and sexting. Speaking of ‘sexting’, switch play can be lightly introduced in this way to communicate your fantasies.
Freeing yourself from the role you believe you should play during sex and allowing yourself to explore based on your partner or mood can lead to some mind-blowing orgasms.
Introducing new ideas in the sack is ALWAYS a risk, and all it takes is a slip into the wrong hole and the mood is completely gone.
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