I know what’s on your mind: “knife” and “play” are two words that sounds weird when associated to sex, and your imagination runs to the iconic scene of “Psycho”. But, as other BDSM practices, Knife Play, or Kink, has nothing to do with violent behavior. Instead, I’ll show you how, when properly done, is a safe, sensual and delicate fetish.
What is a Knife Kink?
Knife Play is an SM practice in which the top, or dom, uses a blade on the submissive partner. This doesn’t absolutely mean that you’re going to cut or harm anybody in any way: instead, the game all revolves around the thrill of the blade, accompanied with knowledge that the sub had to stand very still. In other situations, as in thermal games, it involves the touch of the cool (or hot) metal on the bare skin. More, especially during roleplay, the blade could be used to cut off clothes, ropes or other objects that made your scenario.
What makes safe Knife Play pleasurable?
BDSM practices always involve both psychological and physical pleasures, and Knife Kink is no exception. First and foremost, I have to mention the psychological gratification provided by trust: yes, because if both you and your partner agreed to try something like this, you surely possess a great chemistry and deep understanding.
Pleasure as a dom is mainly psychological: you have the complete control (and responsibility) of the game, of shivers and deep breathing of your partner, giving him/her the sensations you want, where you want and most important, when you want.
For the sub, fear mixed with desire is the main and most intense pleasure, but it does not end there: the caress of the blade on the skin will make your body thrill, and the consciousness of limited movement make your heart throb; thermal play is also a fantastic variation, and unlike usual, you cannot move that much, and take the whole sensation.
How to Knife Play safely?
Knife play is usually regarded as being an edgeplay, one on the boundaries of the Safe, Sane and Consensual rules, and is not hard to understand why. You can coinsider what follows as a starting point, and some best practices to keep in mind if you want to try it for the first time:
- As for every other kind of BDSM game, the first point to keep in mind is preparation. Above anything, talk to each other, always. Discuss what intrigues you, what you expect to happen, what sort of things you want to happen before, during and after, and what you don’t want to happen at all. Establish one or more safewords, if you don’t already have them.
- Start slowly: explore the practice with your partner step by step, become familiar with the objects you’re using, and be aware of the reactions, even involuntary, that the sensual stimulation causes on different areas of the body.
- In this regard, you could begin with sharp objects that can resemble a knife: like scissors or letter openers, or even wooden objects with spiky or sharp shapes. You’ll want something that gives you similar sensations, stings, chills, scratchings, but without the anxiety of having a knife in your hands.
- The further step is to mix Knife Play with other types of S&M practices, such as sensory, thermal and stillness games, this will allow you to practice, but in a much more fun way, a perfect match is wax play. Even if you are not familiar with this type of activity, you can still achieve a similar result by combining it with classic foreplay: a good example can be a massage, alternating the touch of the hand with that of the object.
- When you both feel ready, choose the blade/s together. There are several kinky companies that have created special ones just for sexual play, ranging from simpliest design to the most elaborated, and which in my opinion are the best point from which to move on. Remember, your first knife should be useful, appearance will come later.
- Finally, the time has come for the great leap into the void. Of course, I’m joking: if you have followed the previous steps together, you will see that your first time of BDSM Knife Play will come much more natural, and, consequently much more enjoyable, than you even expected, trust me.
- Wait, wait! It’s not over yet. Always, always, have a good aftercare, this is a “fear play” after all, and could be very intimate and scary, but rewarding if you set up the right situation. Talking about what you have done and how it went for each of you, can only help you improve in practice, making everything better and better each time. The best is yet to come.
Dos and Don’ts of Knife Kink
Some things you should do when you do Knife Play…
- Blindfold your sub partner will accentuate the sensation play and the mind play, surely giving an even better experience; a light restrain is also helpful in the same way;
- Alternate knife play with sexual stimulation, maybe with some sex toys, go up and down stimulating different parts of the body;
- If you are in the mood, you can turn it all into a role-playing game: it can help you put yourself at ease and ease performance anxiety.
…And some things you shouldn’t
- Don’t try to do something you’re not sure you can properly do, you have another person to take care of;
- Nor you, nor your partner, should go beyond your limits to satisfy the other part;
- Don’t think about it as a “surprise kinky sex”, if you’ve never done it before, there are a plentiful of things that suits better the role;
I hope that with this short guide I’ve managed to shed some light on an unusual practice, but that if well done it can be one of the most sensual things to do with your partner, providing you with some basis from which you can deepen by yourself according to your sexual preference: after all, the real fun is there.